First off, being a twin mom in itself is an adventure! Second, adventures don’t have to be monumental events. Everyday adventures are just as wonderful. From picking out cool rocks on the way to school, having a picnic, or setting up a fort in the living room.
My entire life, I’ve loved having adventures. From making up stories for my brother and sister while pretending to be explorers in the woods behind our house, or travelling around the world, my life has been full of adventure. That’s not to say that my life has been easy by any means, but out of all the mess, I chose to see the positives. Being a single mother of boy/girl twins has been one of my life’s greatest adventures.
Adventure can be defined as “an exciting or remarkable experience”. That’s more or less how I view being a mom.
Not every day is exciting. Not every day is fun. It is however, the single-most gratifying adventure I’ve ever encountered in my life. As any parent of twins already knows, getting out the door can sometimes take nearly an entire morning before everyone is actually ready.
In the first couple of months, one likes to poop in their diaper then right before you leave the house, the other one does the same. Then they both need to be fed. As they get older one can’t find their shoe, they’re hungry or have to go the bathroom just as you’re about to leave. (See a trend here?) I swear, one of the biggest hurdles twin parents have to jump is getting down the basic routine of actually leaving on time. Or, let’s be honest, having any sort of basic routine. Some of my best days were just figuring out a routine and mentally high-fiving myself.
In the first few months, I don’t think that I viewed parenthood as grand quite yet. I was so focused on me not getting any sleep, not showering, or having any of the “me” time that I once had. Those first few months of their life were the hardest of mine. I had recently separated from the military. The job that I thought I had fell through, and I was quickly running out of money in savings. I was depressed and had to move back home for a while. It was all a lot to take in, and I felt like a life failure. How was I ever going to be a good mom if I couldn’t even find a job?
I was stuck in my mindset of, Wow! This is hard! I felt like I was stuck inside the house too often at times. I felt like I was unable to live my best life and work on my fitness and other things that were important to me. None of that was actually true though. It was just how I felt at the time. I was living in fear and giving myself excuses.
After eating some humble pie, I tried to re-frame the way I looked at life. I tried to find the good in a less than optimal situation. I needed to remember that yes, I am the parent, my feelings matter but life isn’t all about me anymore. I’m not saying that I denied my feelings, but I am saying that I started to think about the fact that they needed to start enjoying their days more. They deserved more experiences and more connection with me other than the bare minimum. Instead of staying at home all the time and feeling sorry for myself, I forced myself to get out and at least enjoy nature.
Once I shifted my mindset, I was able to begin having “adventures” with my twins. I loved getting all of us out and seeing them experience things for the first time. The change in my attitude helped the day go so much smoother. There were still frustrating moments where my kids were practically pulling my hair out for me. There were still days that couldn’t end soon enough, but overall, once I changed my mindset I was able to enjoy life and my kids more.
Not every day has been fantastic, but to be honest, we have never had a “bad” day.
Here are a few ideas to get you and your twins out on an “adventure” today.
- Have an outdoor picnic.
- Collect one specific item on a short walk near your home. Acorns, rocks, mushrooms, anything!
- Pretend to be explorers, get out your invisible maps and pretend certain things are jewels to put into your pretend backpacks.
- Lay outside and watch the clouds and tell each other what you see.
- Build a fort in your living room. Dining room chairs and a fitted sheet work great!
What sorts of activities do you enjoy doing with your twins? Post in the comments below!